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Harav Hagaon Ahron David Shlita

The Cure for Kotzer Ruach

Parshas Va’era

Harav Hagaon Ahron David shlita

This week’s parshah mentions the concept of kotzer ruach. When Klal Yisrael were performing slave labor in Mitzrayim, day and night, they suffered from kotzer ruach. What is that?

Kotzer ruach means a person has no patience and no headspace to hear anything, because he feels so burdened. When Moshe Rabbeinu came to inform Klal Yisrael of the impending geulah, they couldn’t hear him, because of kotzer ruach. Our generation also suffers from kotzer ruach. People are very busy, and weighed down with all sorts of problems — health, parnassah, children, shidduchim, and more. And there’s also a problem of depression nowadays. People are depressed because of their many tzaros. Anxiety is also a serious problem; so many people are extremely anxious and worried. This is all part of kotzer ruach.

The Ohr HaChaim HaKadosh teaches a major chiddush in this parshah: that bnei Torah have no kotzer ruach. A ben Torah experiences rochav lev, the opposite of kotzer ruach.

What is the meaning of this wonderful Ohr HaChaim? What does rochav lev entail, and how do we attain it? How do we avoid kotzer ruach?

Noticing the Wonders

Perhaps we can give the following explanation. We say each day in Hodu, שִׁירוּ לוֹ זַמְּרוּ לוֹ שִׂיחוּ בְּכׇל נִפְלְאוֹתָיו. Hashem performs nifla’os for every Yid on a daily basis — but you have to be aware and pay attention to those everyday nifla’os, some of which are minor but wondrous nonetheless. We experience small wonders every day, when Hashem grants us siyata d’Shmaya in various situations, except that we don’t even notice. We just say the words hodu, shiru, zamru, and we go on with our life. In truth, we should take the time every day to pay attention to how Hashem is with us and performing nifla’os for us. Even though we may still be in need of a yeshuah in a particular area, we still have to look out for these nifla’os.

In Mitzrayim, the Yidden were forced to perform avodas perach, but at the same time they experienced nifla’os. The Gemara (Sotah 11b) relates that when the women in Mitzrayim went to draw water from the rivers, Hashem gave them fish, dagim ktanim, each day — a miracle. They came home with their jugs of fish and water, prepared the fish, and gave the fresh fish to their husbands so they had what to eat. The Gemara continues that the women then conceived, and since they knew the Mitzrim would throw their children into the river, they went out to the fields to give birth and left the babies there.

“Weve done ours,” they said. “Hashem, now it’s up to you.”

And Hashem helped them. He sent malachim who washed the babies and gave them shemen and devash, and the babies grew up in the fields with the malachei hashareis, with the Shechinah helping them at every moment.

Eventually, the Mitzrim noticed the children in the fields, but when they came after them, the children sank in the ground. Undeterred, the Mitzrim brought plows to get them out of the ground. R’ Chaim Shmuelevitz notes that they observed an open miracle — the children sinking into the ground — yet they thought they could take them out with plows. But plows are no match for nissim. After the Mitzrim left and the plows were gone, the children emerged and grew up in the fields, miraculously.

When these children grew up, they came home, each one to his own family. Each one knew which was his house and who were his parents, and they told them of the nissim v’nifla’os they had experienced: שִׁירוּ לוֹ זַמְּרוּ לוֹ.

Later, at the Yam Suf, they recognized the Shechinah and declared, “זֶה קֵלִי וְאַנְוֵהוּ — this is the Shechinah that was with us in the fields in Mitzrayim!”

Now, Galus Mitzrayim was extremely difficult, and the Yidden suffered terribly from the enslavement. But they also experienced nissim. When a person is able to sing to Hashem, שִׁירוּ לוֹ זַמְּרוּ לוֹ, he has rochav lev rather than kotzer ruach. Perhaps the Ohr HaChaim is teaching us that bnei Torah sing to Hashem despite their difficult circumstances, choosing to focus on the nissim Hashem is doing for them: the fish that came into the jugs, the malachim raising their children.

We have to spend a few minutes each day talking about, or writing down, the nissim Hashem does for us. We’ll be living a new life, and feelings of depression and anxiety will be banished. True, we may be in a tough situation, but we’ll be able to see how Hashem is helping us and granting us siyata d’Shmaya.

Continuous Ascent

A second approach to rochav lev can be understood through the words of the Vilna Gaon in Mishlei, on the passuk (15:24) אֹרַח חַיִּים לְמַעְלָה לְמַשְׂכִּיל לְמַעַן סוּר מִשְּׁאוֹל מָטָּה. The Gaon explains that nothing in this world is neutral. Everything is either moving upward or downward. If a person is not ascending — אֹרַח חַיִּים לְמַעְלָה לְמַשְׂכִּיל — then he is automatically descending: לְמַעַן סוּר מִשְּׁאוֹל מָטָּה. We must therefore always go up.

Take Minchah as a simple example. Every Minchah, we should take one new word as a small point of chizuk. For instance, when we say אַתָּה חוֹנֵן לָאָדָם דַּעַת, we can note that Hashem gives us daas as a gift, a matnas chinam. Just noticing that word and paying attention to what you’re saying already creates a chizuk, an aliyah.

Another place in davening, among many, from where we can draw chizuk, is the phrase we say in Maariv, וְאַהֲבָתְךָ אַל תָּסִיר מִמֶּנּוּ לְעוֹלָמִים. We are saying, “Hashem, do not remove Your love from me, forever. Help me that Your ahavah should never leave me.” By focusing on the meaning of these words, you can experience an aliyah every Maariv as well. That is what the Gaon is teaching: always go higher.

This principle applies to marriage as well. Hashem, in His great chessed, gave us a wife. R’ Yonah Finkel said in a shmuess in the Mir that a person should focus on one ma’alah in his wife every day — one good quality, or one positive action — and either write it down or say it.

It’s not enough to notice it passively. You have to think about it, reflect on it: She made supper. She prepared lunch. She worked hard for me. Spend a minute or two internalizing it. That keeps love alive. Not a vague “I love her,” but a renewed love each day. If you do this, even after ten or twenty years of marriage, you can enjoy a new marriage every day, a new life with a new chiddush. Focusing on a maalah or maaseh of your wife every day will make you feel alive, bringing fresh love into your marriage.

And your wife will feel the love. A woman seeks her husband’s love, and wants to feel cherished by her husband, as the Steipler famously teaches. When she senses that love, she responds with love and support. That creates rochav lev. Kotzer ruach is the feeling of being alone and weighed down, depressed. But you are not alone. You are with her.

The Gaon’s principle applies here as well: every day the ahavah must ascend. That happens when you focus on a new maalah or maaseh each day. R’ Aryeh Finkel told me personally that R’ Chaim Shmuelevitz identified ten such maalos every day in his rebbetzin, who was a truly great woman. As a result, he lived with a sense of elevation, experiencing Gan Eden in this world.

This is rochav lev: seeing the wife Hashem gave you as a gift, and thanking and praising her. When you do that, even if you have worries — shidduchim, children, parnassah — you are with your wife, so you are not depressed or anxious. You are in Gan Eden.

May Hashem grant everyone this path of the Gaon — to be oleh v’oleh. Each tefillah, each day, one ma’alah for your wife is one step upward.

Hashem should grant all of us all the yeshuos we need, for Klal Yisrael and for each individual: shalom, shidduchim, children, parnassah, health, and true hatzlachah. And may He enable us all to fulfill this guidance of the Gaon and constantly climb higher — in every tefillah, and every day in our marriages, as we banish kotzer ruach from our lives.

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