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Harav Hagaon Meir Tzvi Shpitzer Shlita

Shalom: A Life’s Work

Parashas Chukas

Harav Hagaon Meir Tzvi Shpitzer Shlita

After Aharon Hakohen died, the Canaaanim came to attack Klal Yisrael, and Rashi explains that previously, Klal Yisrael were protected by the ananei hakavod, and when Aharon died the ananei hakavod disappeared, leaving Klal Yisrael in danger.

Why did the ananei hakavod disappear specifically when Aharon died? Because they came in his zechus. But why did they come in his zechus?

Says the Sifsei Chachomim  in Rosh Hashana 3, the ananei hakavod represent hashraas haShechinah, and the Shechinah rests in a place where people live in peace and harmony. Because Aharon was אוהב שלום ורודף שלום, we received the ananei hakavod in his zechus.

Every one of us needs protection, our families need protection, and we want the ananei hakavod to shelter us. The more we invest in fostering shalom in our homes, the more kedushah and Shechinah will be present in the home, and the more protection there will be.

When Aharon Hakohen died, the whole Klal Yisrael cried for him, as the passuk says: וַיִּבְכּוּ אֶת אַהֲרֹן שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם כֹּל בֵּית יִשְׂרָאֵל. They cried more for him than for Moshe Rabbeinu! The Targum Yonasan Ben Uziel explains that this was because Aharon was the עמוד צלותהון דישראל — the pillar of tefillah. For tefillah to be answered, you need to be close to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. How do you come close to Hakadosh Baruch Hu? By living b’shalom.

Regarding the passuk בַּקֵּשׁ שָׁלוֹם וְרָדְפֵהוּ, the Midrash notes that most of the mitzvos in the Torah do not require us to go out and look for opportunities to perform them. For instance, regarding other mitzvos the Torah says:  כִּי יִקָּרֵא קַן צִפּוֹר— if you chance upon a bird’s nest, and כִּי תִפְגַּע שׁוֹר אֹיִבְךָ — if you happen to encounter your enemy’s ox. Only with regard to shalom does the Torah instruct us to go seek it: בַּקֵּשׁ שָׁלוֹם וְרָדְפֵהוּ.

 

Nothing Less than Perfection

The Rambam, at the end of Hilchos Chanukah, cites the halachah taught by the Gemara that ifa person has only one candle to use for Shabbos Chanukah, he should light it for ner Shabbos rather than for ner Chanukah. Ner Chanukah is extremely important; a person must even go collecting in order to fulfill this mitzvah. Nevertheless, if it’s a choice between the two, ner Shabbos takes precedence. Why is ner Shabbos so important? Because ner Shabbos helps ensure that the family members don’t stumble over each other or over objects in the house and become upset with one another, and shalom bayis is more important than anything else.

The Rambam adds: From where do we learn the importance of shalom bayis? From the fact that Hashem’s Name is erased, in the waters of the sotah, to bring peace between a man and his wife. Likewise, ner Shabbos takes precedence over other mitzvos.

These words of the Rambam are difficult to understand. In the case of the sotah we’re talking about the destruction of an entire family, about a husband who suspects his wife of the ultimate disloyalty. For that, the Name of Hakadosh Baruch Hu is erased. But how does the Rambam extrapolate from there to a lone episode in a person’s home? How is the possibility of people being unhappy on Friday night because of lack of light comparable to a sotah?

The answer is that any deficiency in shalom bayis destroys the kedushah of the home. One notch down in shalom bayis, and the ananei hakavod are gone. Shalom bayis means that there is complete harmony in the home, and that’s what we have to strive for. Anything less than perfection in this area is the destruction of shalom bayis in the home.

 

The Highest Purpose

In this vein, the Achronim offer a beautiful insight l’halachah. The Gemara, in Sotah, teaches that the parchment used for the sotah does not need to be written specifically for this sotah; it can be taken from an old sefer Torah. Doesn’t this contravene the principle of מעלין בקדש ולא מורידין, R’ Meir Arik wonders. A person may not take portions of a sefer Torah and use them for tefillin, nor may he take portions of tefillin and use them for mezuzah, because there is a hierarchy of kedushah, and items that are of superior kedushah may not be used for less holy purposes. How, then, can a portion of a sefer Torah — which is the holiest of all objects — be used as the megillas sotah?

The answer, say the meforshim, is that using a sefer Torah to bring peace to a Jewish home is מעלין בקדש! Indeed, the Rambam in Hilchos Chanukah says: שכל התורה ניתנה לעשות שלום בעולם — the purpose of the Torah is to bring shalom to the world.

Klal Yisrael traveled 42 times in the Midbar, says the Midrash, but all the times that the Torah says וַיִּסְעוּ, in plural, there was no Kabbalas HaTorah. Only when Klal Yisrael were described as וַיִּחַן שָׁם יִשְׂרָאֵל נֶגֶד הָהָר, in singular, was the Torah given. The purpose of Kabbalas HaTorah was so that there should be kedushah and shalom among Klal Yisrael. Accordingly, for a sefer Torah — our holiest possession — to be used as a tool to bring shalom to a Jewish home constitutes a rise in kedushah.

 

Why Disciples of Aharon?

The Mishnah says, in the first perek of Avos:הוי מתלמידיו של אהרן, אוהב שלום ורודף שלום, אוהב את הבריות ומקרבן לתורה. Why, ask the mefarshim, does the Mishnah have to instruct us to be disciples of Aharon? Wouldn’t it suffice to tell us to simply be אוהב שלום ורודף שלום?

The Midrash Shmuel explains that if you ask any person, he’ll tell you that he feels he’s an אוהב שלום ורודף שלום. Every person fancies himself  a peace-loving individual. But that’s not good enough, says the Mishnah. You have to pursue peace to perfection, like Aharon Hakohen!

The Sefer Chareidim asks the same question and answers that we are urged to be disciples of Aharon Hakohen because Aharon devoted his life to bringing shalom. He didn’t do it only when it was convenient, or only when he chanced upon the opportunity to make peace. Whether he had to close his Gemara, or stop whatever else he was doing, he dedicated himself entirely to making shalom. Indeed, Maseches Kallah teaches that the 80,000 people who escorted Aharon Hakohen’s coffin were all products of the shalom bayis that Aharon had brought about.

The Mishnah is telling us to make shalom our life project. This is the most important thing we can do with our life.

The Sefer Chareidim writes that one of the Torah giants of his generation, the generation of the Arizal, was R’ Yosef Sargusi. This R’ Yosef Sargusi was once involved in bringing about shalom bayis, and because of that he merited a revelation of Eliyahu Hanavi. That’s because shalom bayis brings kedushah, it brings the protection of the ananei hakavod, and it brings the Shechinah. In his tzavaah, he instructed that he be buried in the place where he made shalom bayis.

It is said that the Ohr Sameach used to dance when he merited to bring shalom between people. I would have thought that the heiligeh Ohr Sameach would dance when he wrote a shtickel Torah — but no, we don’t hear that he danced then.

 

A Kiss from R’ Chaim Shmuelevitz

I have never related the following story in public, but it is a story that I can vouch for down to the precise details. A big talmid chacham from the Mir, who is unfortunately not with us anymore, struggled with parnassah after he got married, and faced a dilemma as a result: Should he spend the limited funds at his disposal on treating his wife to some mundane thing that would make her happy, or should he use it for some other ruchniyus objective?

He decided to pose this question to R’ Chaim Shmulevitz, who was nearing the end of his life; he had already suffered a stroke and couldn’t hear so well. He wrote down all the things he could use his money for, and asked whether he should use it instead to treat his wife.

After reading what he had written, R’ Chaim said, “It’s pashut that you should use it to treat your wife!” And then he got up and gave this talmid a kiss.

Never before had R’ Chaim kissed this talmid, not even under his chuppah. Although R’ Chaim held him in esteem, he never kissed him. Only when he showed that he was willing to give up things that he considered important because he recognized that the most important thing is to forego his own needs for shalom bayis did he earn a kiss from R’ Chaim.

The Gemara (Sanhedrin 7) quotes a person who said that when there was good shalom bayis in the house we didn’t need much; we could survive in the smallest apartment without even basic needs like beds. Later, however, when there wasn’t such good shalom bayis, the biggest house in the world wouldn’t have been big enough for us.

Aside from the obvious lesson — that when there’s shalom bayis people can manage with less, but if the home lacks shalom bayis then every luxury in the world won’t be enough to make them happy — there’s another lesson we can glean from this Gemara: You can live a life of incredible shalom and be so happy with one another, yet a later stage can come when the shalom bayis isn’t the way it should be.

We should never rest on our laurels and assume that because there’s good shalom bayis today, that will still be the case tomorrow. You need to invest in it constantly. If you want kedushah and shalom, and the protection it brings, you need to constantly invest and be involved in promoting shalom bayis — because otherwise you can go from the pinnacle of shalom bayis to an unhappy home, chas v’shalom.

May the Ribbono Shel Olam bentch us to truly be disciples of Aharon and dedicate our lives to being אוהב שלום ורודף שלום, and thereby be zocheh to ananei hakavod and protection at all times.

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